April 20th – Slave Labour, Prostitution or simply Charity?

I have partaken in some expenditure tonight that I may be unable to justify. In fact it seems I may have ventured into the Slave Trade or perhaps a form of Prostitution. I'm not entirely sure how to classify it to be honest. It all started when I hopped up on the bike again this evening and headed townwards for Del and Lionel's charity quiz night. All for a good cause I parted with my €20 entry fee and prepared to unleash a fountain of knowledge onto the answer sheets. Unfortunately this plan proved to be a little more than mildly ambitious, not just for me but also for my three teammates. It became very clear early on that we would not be winning any prizes based on our answers. Realising that we would have to change tactics to leave with some loot, we began to concentrate on inventing the Team Name to beat all Team Names. We settled on Saddle Sores, thinking it apt as the boys are raising money to do a charity cycle. I also invested €20 (€10 of which was mum's) in raffle tickets and sat back and waited to clean up. We wanted prizes and as it was all for charity I felt no guilt in my spending.

A couple of goody bags later, after being crowned winners of best team name, Table Four were still not satisfied. The raffle came and prizes went, but none to us. Along came the auction. This is the time when I usually sit back and marvel at the money some people will spend on random stuff – by and large sports related and often signed. Tonight was no exception. A signed Dublin football - €500; tickets to the Leinster-Munster Match in Croke Park - €310 times two. Thinking the auction was over we sat back and prepared for round 10 wondering whether there was any way we could possibly avoid coming last. Then suddenly it was announced that Lionel himself was being auctioned off. A date to the highest bidder. The auction thus began and laughter ensued. Lionel on stage with a look of panic and mortification on his face as his Mother, Father and Sister proceeded to outbid each other for the pleasure of an evening with their son/brother. Then in a split second it happened. One of the girls suggested we all chuck in €50 each and bid on the date and before I knew it I had shouted out "Two Hundred Euro" and a very relieved Lionel was ours! I however then realised that I didn't have a spare €50 in my wallet. Required funds were quickly borrowed from Anne. We paid up and now we each have ¼ of a date with our man slave and it being for charity I clearly can't be judged! I do wonder however if four men had bid on a woman would it all have been so comical.

Total spent today €80 (quiz, raffle tickets and ¼ of a date)

April 19th – Red Wine is not My friend

Good lord almighty. Red wine is not my friend. This is becoming ever more clear the older I get. I lay in bed, wide awake till 1pm on Sunday, unable to move for fear of what might happen. I eventually decided a walk in the park with Lizzie and the Dogs was my only hope for the day. I dragged my ass out of bed and into the shower and then plonked it onto my bike for the short cycle to Churchtown. This whole cycling business is so much more pleasurable and easy when the sun is shining, even if I was a hungover mess. I feel I am going to be a better friend to the environment and also to my bank account if we get a sunny summer for a change and I can swap the car for some easy breezy cycling.

Upon arrival at Mum and Dad's, the commotion with the dog paraphernalia began in earnest yet again. This time it was not a lead, but a collar that had gone missing. How, I ask you, can a perfectly good durable, hard wearing collar disappear off the neck of a dog, never to be seen again? Ridiculous. Eventually, as I was close to tears with the stress of the hullabaloo, the hangover and thoughts of having to reinvest in a collar on a Sunday, mum finally unearthed an old one and off to the park we went. I must have looked a sorry sight, being dragged around the Marlay by two little dogs (three if you include Lizzie's tiny pooch Bumper), but I tell you, if it weren't for them I'd never have made it round.

Got back to mum and dad's and had a flick through the papers. I didn't get far to be honest but did come across an interesting article in the Sunday Times concerning "The Urge to Splurge". I have now learned that splashing out is good for you as if we never treat ourselves we get a "wistful feeling of missing out on life's pleasures". So the unnecessary but desirable purchase is something we apparently shouldn't feel too guilty about. It seems that as long as we only indulge three times out of four and pay with cash so we're not weighing ourselves down with the burden of debt the indulgence is OK. Thank you Sunday Times Style Supplement for your wisdom. I will definitely remember this article the next time I want to buy a pretty pair of shoes.

After my few minutes of paper reading, I promptly fell asleep and remained that way for the majority of the FA cup semi-final. As it seemed to me that Berbatov did the exact same on the pitch I didn't feel too guilty about it. I woke up for the penalties, then got back on my bike and headed off home. I would have cycled directly to Olivia and Conor's if I'd had my lights with me but of course in my diminished state I hadn't thought that far ahead. By the time I got home my car was calling me so I hopped in without even going inside the apartment and needlessly wasted some petrol on the drive to Mount Argus.

At this stage you will note, I still hadn't spent any money. But the hankering for chips was getting greater and greater so as soon as Gary (also hungover) hinted that he too was in the mood for chippies we headed straight out to see what the take-away could provide our carb starved bodies. I got drinks in Centra (about €3) and Gary sprung for the chips (what a gent and what a good deal!). Once satiated we all then kicked back in front of a Kung Fu movie. Initially I was unsure how to take it, but as soon as the Thai Teenage Sensation started doing somersaults all over the place and kicking the crap out of the bad guys with her fancy moves I was hooked.

Total spent today - €3ish

April 18th – To Bend and Stretch or to Booze?

Saturday began with the fortnightly visit of the lovely Marina. Two hours and €25 later and the apartment looked like an enchanted cleaning fairy had appeared and waved her magic wand over the mess. How easy it is to picture the various woodland creatures that would come in and sing a happy helping song, birds twittering on her shoulder á la Mary Poppins in an effort to speed up and chirp up the sweeping and mopping process. Ah Disney, I blame you for the many strange but wondrous thoughts that flit through my head. Now if only Prince Charming were to appear on his White Steed and sweep me off my feet!

After Marina, the menagerie and the woodland creatures had left, I spent the remainder of the morning battling with myself over the steamy matter of the Art of Bikram Yoga. I had agreed to sign up for an introductory month for €49 with great aspirations of being beach ready by the time I landed in Spain for my few days of sunshine at the end of May. The girls started on Tuesday, but as I'd become carried away buying fancy groceries in M&S on Easter Monday I had to wait till the funds were replenished before being in a position (pardon the pun) to sign up for 40 degree Bend and Stretch.

Though the cash situation had again reached a semi-respectable level by Saturday morning, the battle within still raged. I was due to go out for Fiona's birthday that evening and was concerned that if I forked out for the yoga I'd be stuck come dinner time. I knew I could probably borrow a few quid off Mum and Dad if I really needed it but didn't feel comfortable doing that as I already owed them for the haircut on Tuesday. I also knew however, that if I didn't bite the bullet and sign up for yoga that day, that I never would. In the end I decided against the yoga and instead made an effort to resurrect my foundering running career. I opted for a 15 minute jog to Mum and Dad's where I picked up my bike and cycled it home. Not quite an hour and a half of yoga but exercise nonetheless. Felt fantastic after it too and spent not a penny.

Interestingly, the Yoga/No Yoga decision is probably the first purely economic one I've made since this experiment began. I felt I could justify the month of Bikram as "necessary" as I usually do yoga once a week anyway and had simply planned to replace my current class with hard core, super heated, super yoga for the month to stretch me a little more (again pardon the pun). It was also very reasonably priced. However, in truth I couldn't really afford it, not without seriously impacting on my impending night out. I also knew I had an expensive few weeks ahead so decided to be sensible to a point and opt for some fun with Fiona and the girls that evening instead.

Birthday celebrations were indeed a great laugh so a good decision was definitely made. Dinner was served in Green 19 (http://www.green19.ie) and was a STEAL. I am, without a shadow of a doubt organising the next class night out there. We could use a cheap one after the monumental expense of our last extravagance. The food was delicious and so reasonably priced. I had the yummiest Fish and Chips ever for €10 and couldn't but compare it to the vastly inferior Cod and Chipper Chips that Dad and I ordered last weekend from Marsellas around the corner which may even have cost more. Aside from the food, the wine and cocktails were also amazing and I even managed to leave without a hole in my pocket. About €30 once we'd polished off bottle after bottle of wine. Not too shabby.

On to the bleeding horse for more wine, a conga line or two and a bit of a dance. All in all a brilliant night. I have to admit I did feel a bit shitty when everybody started producing some really lovely presents for Fi, most of which I found myself experiencing pangs of longing for, as they were hoisted high and admired. I of course had arrived with my arms swinging, which did not please me. My excellent home- made birthday card idea unfortunately proved to be unworkable and I wasn't organised enough to make something á la Blue Peter. However I do plan to bake Fi a dirty great big cake when she's over for dinner on Saturday so hopefully she won't feel too hard done by. It is gradually becoming abundantly clear to me that I am turning into a feeder. As I'm blocked from buying presents for people, I find myself cooking for them more and more. If I kept this up much longer I'd end up with a load of fat friends.

Total spent today - €89ish (Marina, Dinner & Tip, More Wine and a Taxi Home).

April 17th

This morning did not begin well. I emerged from the shower unable to find Penny and was convinced for about 30 awful seconds that she'd taken a leap for freedom off my balcony. I'd never been as scared as I was when I cautiously peered over said second floor balcony convinced I'd find her lying cadaverous on the road below. Thankfully she had not yet gone to meet her maker and I found her a minute or so later in Ciara's room. I didn't think she was intelligent enough to push a door open, thus enabling her entry. She is however stupid enough not to bark when I call her so inner panic was what took over before I opened the door to find her looking up at me, wagging her tail so enthusiastically that her whole body was shaking. Once all dogs were present and accounted for, I threw on whatever clothes I could find and left with hair still wet just to get them back home to familiar territory.

I was supposed to meet up with my scary life coach this afternoon but cancelled as I just couldn't have coped with all the questions. I am still traumatised from my last experience and I really didn't see an hour spent with Ulf as the best way to lift my mood. It just goes to show that free stuff is not always good stuff.

It all worked out for the best though as it freed up my afternoon so I could fit in a cuppa with a friend instead. Far better for my mental health I think. So apart from my usual lunchtime soup (€3.75) and €1.75 on a yummy Coconut and Orange tea (the request of which seemed to seriously confuse the girl working behind the counter) I spent nothing today. I even managed to go to bed in a slightly brighter mood than I woke up with, as I didn't have Coach Ulf scaring me into making goals for my life.

Total spent today - €5.50

April 16th

Took another delightful drive up the M50 in the pissings of rain this morning in an attempt to educate some of DCUs finest. Oh the joys of market segmentation and positioning just cannot be overstated. Stopped off along the way for petrol, popcorn and water but was still starving by the time I left.

€5.60 for the Toll

€20 for petrol

€2.09 for water and popcorn.

After battling with the traffic and the elements I finally made it back to the familiar territory of Dublin 14. I immediately bypassed Tesco in Rathfarnham, remembering all too well my last shopping experience there, and zipped on up the road to SuperValu where I bought 2 tins of beans and some fish fingers – oh and some dry roasted peanuts. As I was freezing, I also accepted a free sample of green tea from the Lyons sample girl. This proved to be a mistake. When I got to the till I put it down beside me so I could wrestle with the other shopping that was weighing me down. The boy on the till then tried to pick it up to scan it and subsequently spilled it all over the place, creating a mess and a commotion that I was in no fit state to cope with. We got it wiped up fairly quickly and life in SuperValu soon returned to normal as I scooted off home to make my dinner. Fish fingers, beans and homemade chips – yum! I did however notice that Bird's Eye seem to have done something to their fish fingers. I'm pretty sure there is no longer Cod in the batter, which is fine. But said batter has also changed somewhat and I'm not sure I approve. The fingers themselves also seemed smaller than usual – unsettling. My chipies however were delicious and the beans topped off a good hearty dinner.

€5ish for the nuts, beans and chips (can't find the receipt).

Am now sitting on the couch with the dogs watching "the Wire". A perfect way to end a grey rainy day.

Total Spent today - €32.69

April 15th

Soy milk – not a fan. I'm sitting here with a cappuccino made from said liquid and it's just not doing the business. I suppose at this point I should mention that far from ordering a soy cappuccino for kicks, I did it because I'm desperately trying to emerge from a dairy coma that had afflicted me for the past few weeks. After many years of binging on cheese, with only an ever-increasing waistline as evidence of my misdemeanours, the rest of my body is now taking a stand and fighting me on my addiction. I've now had it with the constant bunged-upness, morning sore throats and puffy face so am fighting back. Actually, perhaps I'm surrendering, I'm not too sure. A consequence of this fight/surrender is my current adventure with soy milk. The result of that little experiment is that I may now no longer be a coffee drinker. Also bought an egg mayo sambo and spent ages reading the ingredients for signs of dairy. Couldn't find any so went ahead with the purchase only to discover that the bread was actually buttered. Then again, it could have been spread with anything so I'm not too concerned.

Coffee and Sambo - €5

It seems to be a day of living dangerously. Prior to the aforementioned food adventure, I took my life into my own hands on the M50 this morning. Of course I left it till the last possible day to go out to DCU and finally organise things so I could actually get paid. And on this last possible day it was raining so heavily that I could hardly see the road in front of me let alone the cars. A terrifying experience altogether. The good news is that I made it back safely and can now look forward to a slightly healthier looking bank account come May than the one I've been scared to look at since before Christmas.

€5.60 on the toll bridge.

€2 on an apple, pear and ginger juice. Much nicer than a soy coffee and better for the digestion too!

My FaceBook status currently reads "Cathy McGouran is contemplating Picnics of an Electric variety". After discovering that an Electric Picnic ticket costs €240, I am no longer contemplating. I am most definitely not going to be paying Stradbally Estate a visit this September.

April 14th – Prodigal Blogger Returns

Hi all and apologies to any of you who've been missing my posts! If I had a tail it would be between my legs right about now. For those of you who thought I'd cracked and suspected my almost 2 week absence was due to an uncontrollable shopping binge, I'm afraid I've got little to report. What started out as a day or two that "I must catch up on" and a receipt or two that "I really must find" quite simply snowballed to a point where I didn't have a clue where to start again! So here's hoping my temporary absence will be forgiven, that a blind eye will be turned and that the next few weeks of "not shopping" will be recorded here for posterity for you all to see.

I could try to begin I suppose by attempting a rundown of some of my more significant expenditures of the past 11 days, though now that I think back, none were really all that noteworthy. There have been few nights out, no extravagant meals, no cinema trips (much to my disgust – does nobody want to see Marley and Me?). There have been a few boozy nights in, accompanied by some serious culinary adventures, the most exciting of which involved some pizza making with two little helpers of the toddler variety. Other than that – nada. I did log on to eBay last week to help my brother locate a new back to his phone, once found I bought it for him as it was only $4 and he doesn't have a paypal account. Besides, I like the fix rather than replace mentality!

Today however, I did finally crack and get my hair done. I couldn't even look at my reflection anymore my roots were that bad. I was beginning to feel I had more brown hair than blond and that the only things preventing this from being true were the greys that jumped up and waved at me every time I went to the mirror for an inspection. After today's visit to the lovely Amanda I can now confirm with utmost certainty that I do have more brown hair than blond as I made an executive decision to rid myself of the highlights that have been my crown for so many years. They were just getting far too expensive to maintain. Word from Amanda is that I am far from the first fake Blond to walk out of there a reformed Brunette in recent times. It seems that easi meche, though easy on the eye is not so easy on the wallet. €105 incl tip which is a saving of about €50 on the usual price for a "do". Have myself a nice new cut also and all in all I must admit I quite like the result.

I made a trip to the Fruit and Veg shop and also to SuperValu this evening to give Jamie Oliver's Thai Green Curry a go. I got the best present in the world yesterday. Olivia and Conor bought me "Jamie's Ministry of Food". Wohoo! I suspect they were worried it would grow legs and disappear off out the door with me some Sunday night if they didn't take action. Or perhaps they were just getting sick of me pouring over their recipe books every time I visited and not engaging anyone in conversation unless it was food related. Either way I got my hands on it. Funnily enough I'd only been flicking through it in Eason's earlier that day showing mum all the recipes I'd been dying to try out. As for the outcome of the curry; I think a "could do better" should be appearing on my report card. Just a tad watery but nothing that can't be improved upon for next time. I'm dying to try out the Smoked Mackerel pate too. Yum.

Total Spent today: €124.80